“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
This isn't the Bible Reading for Mother's Day. I think it's a better one than what the Canadian Bible Society offered. The scripture text above is the fourth commandment in the Ten Commandments. A good text to think about on Mothers Day and Fathers Day. Why would God consider honoring fathers and mothers? What makes our parents so important in God's social order? What follows is speculation on my part, but may have some support from other more accomplished faithful thinkers.
Mother and father form the nucleus of the family. The basic unit and foundation of society. Without parents, children wouldn't exist. Neither would they have nurture or protection or education in survival. Not every parent is a paragon of virtue, but the vast majority of parents do their very best to provide for their children, and prepare them for independence. Parents provide the first experience and example of love, as the basis for successful relationships and social exchange.
In previous societies, and societies in less developed parts of the world, the extended family was the social safety net. The extended family worked in cooperation to provide for everyone. The young, the sick, the troubled, the elderly all fell under the care of the extended family or clan. The care extended to the young, the ill, the troubled was temporary- until they grew up, became well, or became fully functional again. But, the care of the elderly was more like a reward for their years of productivity and care giving. It was permanent until death.
Why was their a need for a commandment about honoring or caring for mother and father? Evidently, even way back then, there were members of the younger generation who were self absorbed, and had no inclination to share time or resources with father and mother. So, the commandment was necessary to remind children and grandchildren of the social obligation to honor father and mother. And it was especially important to honor mother, since women (the ones who didn't die in childbirth) outlived their men, and had no social status outside the family. A mother abandoned by her children would have a shortened life and would suffer great indignity.
Today, Mother's Day 2017, after church I took my wife to a restaurant for lunch, having spent time with family yesterday. We were surrounded by large tables of young families that had an elder mom and dad, or just a mom with them. Some of the older folks were beaming, soaking up the attention being paid to them. Others sat quietly, being ignored, in the midst of a family absorbed in one another, but not in Mom.
Our society has provided all kinds of social safety nets for people in need. Hospitals, nursing homes, seniors residences, family and children's services resources, and so on. We have pensions and senior discounts. But, one thing the government cannot provide is an antidote to loneliness, meaninglessness, and purposelessness. As people age they face the loss of work and the meaning and purpose it gave to life, the loss of life partners, and the shrinking of social networks. If they also lose their place in the family, the isolation can provoke hopelessness and despair. Who am I? What do I matter?
Honoring mother and father in our society doesn't have to involve a lot of financial expenditure. But, it should involve an intentional making of space for them in the lives of children and grandchildren. Ensuring they have a place of value in the younger family unit. Basically, include parents in the life that will go on beyond them.
Mother's Day and Father's Day are wonderful observances that can provide a special focus on the value the family has for mom and dad. Everybody loves a party! But honoring mother and father is best done as a year round activity.
And for those of us whose mother and father are no longer alive? Honor happens in the memory. Honor is accompanied by a profound sense of appreciation and gratitude. At the very least, our parents gave us the gift of life. An opportunity to participate in the amazing adventure of being alive. Though some of us may feel that's all we ever got, I believe the vast majority of us carry a gratitude within us for so much more. Love, encouragement, assistance, cheerleading, education, values, faith ...
Gracious God, you also are the Divine Parent, all life, and all good gifts in life have come from you. Thank you for my(our) parents. I shall be eternally grateful to them, and to you! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment